Listening

How do I listen to others?

As if everyone were my Master

Speaking to me His

Cherished last words.

— Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,

abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.

— George Elliot

You give another person a precious gift if you will allow him to talk without contaminating his speech with your own material.

— Robert A. Johnson

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

— Publilius Syrus

First Century BC, Maxim 914

Effective listeners remember that "words have no meaning - people have meaning." The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved.

— Larry Barker

The greatest problem of communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.

— George Bernard Shaw

Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

— Ambrose Bierce

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.

— M. Scott Peck

To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the 'music,' but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow our mind’s hearing to your ears’ natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.

— Peter Senge

Man's inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.

— Carl Rogers

To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.

— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.

— Diane Sawyer

ABC Television Anchor

Of all the skills of leadership, listening is the most valuable—and one of the least understood. Most captains of industry listen only sometimes, and they remain ordinary leaders. But a few, the great ones, never stop listening. That's how they get word before anyone else of unseen problems and opportunities.

— Peter Nulty

National Business Hall of Fame Fortune Magazine

Many 'active listening' seminars are, in actuality, little more than a shallow theatrical exercise in appearing like you're paying attention to another person. The requirements: Lean forward, make eye contact, nod, grunt, or murmur to demonstrate you're awake and paying attention, and paraphrase something back every 30 seconds or so. As one executive I know wryly observed, many inhabitants of the local zoo could be trained to go through these motions, minus the paraphrasing.

— Robert K. Cooper

Executive EQ

You learn when you listen. You earn when you listen—not just money, but respect.

— Harvey Mackay

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.

— Ralph Nichols

If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.

— Turkish Proverb

Man's inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively.

— Carl Roger

It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

— Dick Cavett

There's a big difference between showing interest and really taking interest.

— Michael P. Nichols

The Lost Art of Listening

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be understood, as to understand.

— St Francis of Assisi